Things Clint Barton Believes In
by KCUrquhart
Summary: Clint Barton believes in pretty much everything. The Loch Ness monster. Bigfoot. Roswell and Area 51. If there is even the slightest hint of a conspiracy theory or government cover-up then Clint figures it's the truth. It comes from being involved in more cover-ups than he can count on both hands. But there is one thing that Clint does not believe in. Love.


Clint Barton believes in pretty much everything. Growing up, he always believed in fairy tales and big foot. He didn't care that people said they weren't real. They were real to him. Once he joined SHIELD, he realized that a lot of his ridiculous beliefs probably weren't so ridiculous. He'd been part of enough government cover-ups to know that anything was possible. So Clint continued to believe every crazy conspiracy theory that he came across. He believed in the Loch Ness Monster, in Roswell and Area 51. He not only believed in aliens, he worked with one. But of the millions of stupid things that happened in the world that Clint believed, there was one thing he didn't. Clint did not believe in love.

At least not in the way most people thought of it. The crazy, head-over-heels, can't live without them love. The love that he sees blaring out from every Disney movie or Hallmark card or sappy chick flick. That sort of love is a bunch of bull shit. The entire world seemed to know and accept that, yet they all wanted it. He walked around SHIELD HQ every Valentines Day and watched people mope because they were alone or because they had had a fight with their boyfriend or some other nonsense. Never realizing that the goals they had set were unrealistic. That true love and soul mates were the real lies that the government shoveled out to keep the masses distracted. Clint Barton didn't do lies and he didn't do distracted.

Natasha understood that. She felt the same way. Love belonged in fairy tales. True, most people would classify their relationship as a type of love, but not Clint and Tasha. They knew better. Their relationship was built on mutual trust and respect. A deeper connection that felt like it connected their very souls. They were one and the same. They were polar opposites that fit together perfectly. Two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. They were too jaded to ever fall for something as silly as love. And Clint had thought that Coulson understood that. Thought that he knew what he was getting into when they had started dating. That Clint was damaged and broken in so many ways and that there were some things he would never be able to give to Phil. So when Phil had said those three little words, Clint felt like his world was collapsing around him.

"I love you."

The words had been barely a whisper. Phil had breathed them into Clint's ear as they were falling asleep in each other's arms. Clint stiffened, trying to keep his pounding heart from beating out of his chest. Three years they had been together. Three long and beautiful years and Clint had finally stopped worrying. Had finally started to relax in the intimate moments. Had started thinking that maybe he'd finally found someone who wouldn't press him. Who would just be happy to take what Clint could give. Who wouldn't let those three words, that ridiculous concept, that insane lie, hang over their heads. But it was too late now. Phil had said the words. And Clint knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he meant them. That Phil wasn't quite so callous as to have lost all faith in the goodness of humanity. He'd seen the rom-coms on Phil's TiVo.

But Clint couldn't return the sentiment. Couldn't let himself believe in love. Because he'd met too many people who had said those words to him and then disappeared. Had let himself fall for the lie one too many times. His parents, Barney, Lori at the circus. All of them had hurt him. Had claimed to love him then had left him. Had stormed out, grinding his heart under their heels as they'd slammed the door in his face. After the third time, Clint had gotten wise. Had understood the truth. That love didn't exist. But here, in Phil's arms, in their bed, he wished he could believe again. Wished he could say the three words back and make Phil smile. A warm, genuine smile that was so rare. But he couldn't. He didn't do lies. Especially not to Phil. He had never lied to Phil and he couldn't start now. Not with something so important.

"I don't..." Clint stammered. Looking for the right words to explain. He felt Phil withdraw slightly and he panicked, realizing how his words sounded. What Phil thought he meant. "No, it's not that." Phil relaxed slightly in his grip, leaning forward to place a small kiss on his lips. The touch was soft and warm. It made Clint want to cry. Because it was Phil. Phil understanding and accepting and never pushing too hard. Phil just being there for him and letting him work through his issues at his own pace.

"I know you don't believe in love, Clint." Clint sighed at the sound of his name coming from Phil's lips. "I've heard you say it a thousand times in the decade we've worked together. It's fine."

Clint pushed Phil back, forcing him down onto the mattress and rolling so that all of his weight was on top of him. He stared down at Phil. His heart racing now for a whole other reason. Phil loved him. In the cheesy chick flick, my whole-world-revolves-around-you kind of way. And he didn't care that Clint was broken. He didn't care that Clint would never be able to say the words back. He didn't expect to hear them. Phil just wanted Clint to know how he felt. And returning the favor was the least Clint could do. Anything to ease the worry-lines etched permanently between his brows. Clint reached up a hand and smoothed the lines away before leaning down and kissing them. He kissed every inch of Phil's face he could find before finally ending with a deep kiss on his lips. Clint smiled into it, pulling back just enough to whisper the truth.

"I don't believe in love." He leaned back just enough that he could meet Phil's eyes. Two blue-grey orbs staring at him with such acceptance that Clint's heart stuttered. "I believe in you."


End file.
